Diary of Daily Dilemmas

I've decided to start a blog entry that is the reverse of Hints from Heloise. I describe my daily dilemmas, and y'all will provide some nuggets of knowledge which will, Im sure, provide greater ease in my day-to-day existence in Budapest.

1. Washing. I have the standard edition Hungarian washing machine, with basically two heating options (40 and 60 degrees celsius). For those of you that arent into math, think hot and hotter. However, this hasnt been my major washing difficulty. I have been drying my clothes on a rack in my bedroom. After drying over night, the shirts are as stiff as my fathers back will be after back fusion surgery----no bend whatsoever. These perma creases usually work themselves out around 4pm or so, but i feel a little awkward showing myself in public walking through town, unable to turn quickly, bend over, or squat, not because of any lack of agility on my part, but merely because my clothes have been super starched and inhibit any such movement. Ive considered ditching the whole concept of clothes, as many Hungarians do, but the chill of fall has arrived and the apartment building heat hasnt been turned on.

Please valued-readers, any suggestions out there?

2. Since arriving in Budapest, I have been suffering from some severe water retention difficulties, as have some of my fulbright friends. Ive considered several potential reasons for this change including the higher levels of salt in Hungarian diet or the amount of mineral water i have been drinking. And then my hypochondriac side of me investigated some medical reasons including the following: Acromegaly Anaphylaxis Ganglion cyst Glomerular Disease Gout Hemolytic uremic syndrome Lupus nephritis Nephrotic syndrome Preeclampsia Proteinuria Pulmonary edema Scleroderma West African Trypanosomiasis Please, my doctor friends that are out there offer some sound advice (and by this I mean MD, not PhDs in critical literary theory, queer theory, marxist theory, or number theory, I will possibly consider advice from PhDs in psychology or any of the medical sciences, as they might have something valuable to say).

Should i cut back on the mineral water and replace with tap water? Should i cut back on the salt-cured bacon? Heres an x-ray of my hand if that is needed for the diagnosis.

3. Cat. One of my most persistant neighbors (and I have many) is a stray cat that is constantly scratching at my door, rushing in the apartment when i leave the door open, and is overall a major pain in my derriere. As you may know, I typically have a strong dislike of cats, although they tend to be attracted to me. While I admit that I sometimes feigned a strong cat allergy with an array of friends throughout my life so i could get out of cat sitting, I do have a mild, if not moderate, allergic reaction to cats. Anways, as seen in the picture below, little "kiscica" crawls up the outside of my 15 foot door and sits there, watching every move i make throughout the day. Not only does the sound of her crawling up the mahogony doors send shockwaves up my spine, but the set of eyes glaring at me tracking all of my daily and nightly activities is starting to make me paranoid (my 80 year old neighbor has a similar propensity of watching me, but that is another whole entire blog entry).

What should I do?